Appearance: Sleek, futuristic, all mod cons.

Age: Three years. No, five years. All right, seven years.

Can't you just check it on the … Wait, it's 10 years. Definitely. It was founded by Richard Branson in 2004. It has built a kind of flying catamaran that releases a rocket full of paying customers that roars up to the edge of space before gliding back down again. Or will do when it's ready. Around 580 people have so far paid more than £42m in deposits.

I see. And how's it all going? Oh, brilliantly. The company is right on target to launch its first proper flight some time in 2007.

We've already had 2007. That's when the iPhone was launched. Oh, sorry. Brief technical hitch. Building a new kind of space ship is quite fiddly, you know. The target is now 2009 instead.

That was five years ago. Obama sworn in as president. Oh, right. Apologies again. How about 2010?

Vuvuzelas. Look, is this thing ever going to launch? Well, the company has also predicted that it will get going in 2011, 2012 and 2013. So now that it's 2014, the launch must definitely be around the corner, right? Branson even "confirmed" that they are "just three months away from having a fully functioning rocket that is capable of taking passengers".

Splendid. When exactly did he confirm that? Just over three months ago.

I see. But look, they've just released a new video of a test flight! The rocket reached supersonic speeds for the third time and hit 71,000ft, its highest ever altitude!

And that's in space, is it? No.

Is it nearly in space? No. It's in the lowish stratosphere, just over half the height that Felix Baumgartner managed in a balloon. "With each flight test, we are progressively closer to our target of starting commercial service in 2014," said CEO George Whitesides.

Some people would say that after the first five or six misses it's not a target any more. They probably would. And one person is saying they might never manage it.

Who is this scoundrel? Tom Bower. He's just written a book on Branson, in which he claims that the rocket motor may never be powerful enough to take people into space, and that the company has yet to be granted a licence from the US Federal Aviation Administration, which will need to be convinced that it is safe.

Rome wasn't built in a day, eh? Yes, that's what Branson says.

Do say: How time flies!

Don't say: At least something does.