Name: Office space.
Age: Arguably the first dedicated office was the Old Admiralty Building in Whitehall, completed in 1726, from which the Royal Navy was run.
Appearance: A work-oriented volume of air enclosed by walls, floor and ceiling.
Full of desks and chairs and clocks to watch? Traditionally, yes.
Are there coffee- and tea-making facilities? Ideally.
What about a ping-pong table? That’s up to you. It’s just space – fill it up how you like.
How much space are we talking? Roughly 2.88m sq metres (31m sq ft).
Huh. Does that figure include the loos? That includes all the office space available to let in London.
I’m not good with numbers, but it sounds like a lot. It’s about 2.88 sq km (712 acres), and it’s 50% more than the mere 1.8m sq metres available in the capital in 2019.
When was the last time there was this much empty office space in London? Possibly never. Even in the aftermath of the 2008 crash, the figure peaked at 2.6m sq metres.
Is this because everyone is still working from home? Undoubtedly. At certain points during the pandemic, office occupancy rates were close to zero. Some of the shift to hybrid working is clearly permanent.
I suppose this means that office lets are going cheap. The value of offices in the capital has dropped by about 25%, but the market is actually pretty polarised.
Polarised how? Between second-rate, older office blocks, of which there is a glut, and quality prestige space, where even in these testing times the supply cannot meet demand.
Why is that? Showcase spaces are what businesses want as they try to lure their employees back to the daily commute.
What might showcase office space consist of? Google’s nearly 92,000 sq metre new building, due to be completed in 2024, will boast a 25-metre swimming pool, basketball and tennis courts, and a rooftop garden with 250 trees.
I’m not tempted. I can’t see Google offering you a job, if I’m honest.
They needn’t bother; I like working in my bedroom. What it lacks in space and exercise facilities, it more than makes up for by being very far away from my boss. Don’t you find it hard to focus?
Sorry, on what? *sighs heavily*
Do say: “Can you squeeze in a quick meeting between office tennis and your work swim?”
Don’t say: “Actually, it’s my day off; I just came in to get warm.”
