For the life of me, I can’t work out how to open the damn aeroplane door from the inside. I’ve been shown three times by easyJet cabin crew trainer Dilyana. I’ve watched four members of the public manage it easily. Yet when I eventually pull the right combination of levers, I forget to hang on to the handle on the wall. The door swings outwards, nearly taking me with it, before the emergency slide would have had time to inflate. If this were for real, might I have plummeted to my death?

Thankfully, I’m at the easyJet London Gatwick training facility, and this is just a test run – I’m learning how to be a member of the cabin crew. “Ninety-nine percent of the job is the safety of the passenger, the crew and the aircraft, one percent is customer service,” says easyJet talent acquisition manager Selina at the welcome talk. But as my monstrous lack of competence shows, I’m 100% unsafe at best. EasyJet, you see, has launched a new “returnship” initiative to encourage more over-50s to become cabin crew and is hosting a taster day – which I’ve attended in my best orange tie, and with ID in case I need to prove my age – to demonstrate why the job could be perfect for quinquagenarians.

It’s tempting. We know that more than a third of over-50s feel at a disadvantage applying for jobs. The Flexible After Fifty report urged ministers to avoid a “looming retirement crisis” with measures to help more over-50s back into the workforce. We have experience, common sense, we’ve met a variety of people. But of course, it’s wise to choose carefully – especially if the applicant is me.

At the welcome talk, I and the other attenders meet easyJet flight attendant Sharon, who has been in the job for 11 years. She was previously a childminder, has “five lovely daughters at home” and went for her interview at easyJet on her 41st birthday. “I thought I would be far too old, but lo and behold I got the job and I absolutely love it,” she says. Gary, who just “fancied something different”, joined easyJet two weeks before his 57th birthday. The airline’s oldest cabin crew member, who is affectionately nicknamed Nana Pam, switched career from being a hairdresser aged 53, and recently celebrated her 73rd birthday. Happy birthday, your majesty.

There are 10 people at this morning’s recruitment drive – I’m one of only two men – with another batch of 10 swapping in this afternoon. One hopeful applicant has gone from teaching children to working with C-suite senior executives, and thinks her skills in the classroom and office are easily transferable to waiting on a rowdy bunch of ravers on the 20.05 from Luton to Ibiza. Successful applicants will start training for four weeks on the ground before taking to the skies in 2025. The perks of the job include flexible full- and part-time working patterns, discounted easyJet flights and package holidays – as well as commission on what they can flog off the plane’s trolley.

Although today is targeted at the over-50s, the job is open to almost everybody. The requirements are: 18+ (tick); 5’2”–6’3” (tick); able to swim 25m (tick). Then pass a medical (fingers crossed). I also have to be fluent in English (almost there). EasyJet, continues Selina, is Britain’s “best-loved airline” meaning everyone must get into the “orange spirit”. “The one thing people need to already have when they apply to be cabin crew is that love of dealing with the general public,” says Selina. “It’s not a qualification, but if it was, that’s the one you need.”

“Even better, you’d describe yourself as ‘nosy’,” she continues. “That’s the interest we need to have in our passengers. Why are they going to this destination? What’s happening there? You have to be intrigued by people and want to get to know things.”

After the presentation, we’re taken to a cross-section of an actual plane to be shown how to open a real plane door and inflate the emergency slide if necessary. I’m relieved to learn from trainer Dilyana that you can’t accidentally open the emergency exit over the wing at 30,000ft by leaning on that big red handle. The pressure difference is too great, plus you’d have to pull some other handles first, too. Phew.

And what about other mishaps? At the fire and smoke trainer – another cross section of a plane – Jo shows us how to utilise the Cabin Crew Competency Matrix if the worst comes to the worst. For smoke on a plane, tip on some fluid – a passenger’s bottle of water will do, but not their gin and tonic. For fire on a plane (exploding laptop batteries are the usual culprit), scoop up the offending laptop in a big metal box. But there’s no mention of how to handle my ultimate worry – snakes on a plane. Where’s Samuel L Jackson when you need him?

Back in the boardroom, I’m curious. All this talk of safety checks, customer service and cabin crew competence is a lot more work than I had imagined. I thought all the cabin crew had to do was dish out a few sandwiches, memorise the safety demonstration and wave hello and goodbye at the plane door. I’m surprised how positive all the easyJet staff I meet today are. They all enthuse about their jobs, when I’m worried even my knees wouldn’t cope.

“The pleasure is being able to put some of my life experience into my job that day. That’s why being over-50 is fantastic,” says flight attendant Elane, who has been in the industry since she was 18.

“I’ve never felt like the old lady among the youngsters, because we’re all mates,” says cabin crew Sharon.“We’ll be sat in the back galley, and the youngster cabin crew will be telling us about their girlfriends and boyfriends,” says cabin crew trainer Jo. “We’re definitely seen as work mums and dads. Everyone comes out with their deepest darkest secrets.”

Disappointingly, they don’t let you fly the plane on your birthday – my big question at the end of the Q&A session, to which no one laughs. “No, we leave that to the pilots who are more than capable,” says Selina. Oh well. Maybe on my 60th birthday then?

• Rich Pelley is a freelance writer