Vivienne Pearson 

Goodbye, Bonza airlines, you were taken from us too soon. Thank you for saying g’day even when my flight was delayed

There was a hilarious theme-park element to flying the budget airline, which gave us more than just cheap flights and a bizarre booking system
  
  

A supplied image of a Boeing 737-8 Bonza aircraft
‘Thank you, Bonza, for including those of us who don’t live in a capital city. And at a good price’ Photograph: Southern Lightscapes-Australia/PR IMAGE

Bye bye Bonza. I will miss you. As someone who lives in regional New South Wales and has family in country Victoria, I am mourning the loss of the only direct Gold Coast to Albury flight. I’m also sad I did not get a chance to fly from Gold Coast to Darwin, a route I’m astonished no other airline offers.

In case you’re not yet in the know, Bonza airline has gone belly-up. Not literally, though I did have a very rough Bonza landing at Albury airport just before Christmas – I think the pilot thought the tarmac was a couple of metres lower than it was – but the plane was upright once we came to a hastier-than-usual stop.

I have no expertise in economics or aviation so I’ll leave others to speak to reasons behind Bonza’s final departure call. I’m hearing it was – and we are – victims of neoliberalism and that the airline was both born of, and killed by, the downhill effects of its US-based backers.

Instead, I’d like to compose a eulogy for U Beaut Bonza. Like the best eulogies, there’ll be space to speak well of the deceased along with remembering their unique sense of humour. I’m a firm believer in not unnecessarily romanticising those who have departed so I’ll not shy away from the not-so-bonza issues with this budget airline which, after being born in January 2023, was taken from us far too soon.

The best thing about Bonza was its focus on regional Australia. Sure, to get to your country destination (let’s say Wangaratta in north-east Victoria), I can fly into a major city (Melbourne) but then I need to drive through the hellish city landscape (I’m looking firmly at you, Western Ring Road), followed by hours of mindless motorway (yep, I’m calling you boring, Hume Highway) or (cue hysterical laughter) spend huge numbers of hours on public transport. In contrast, what a joy to fly direct to Albury, a relatively short unencumbered drive to where some of my in-laws live.

Bonza flew to Albury from the Gold Coast three times a week. As in, once a day on each Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. That wasn’t often enough, especially for more fine-tuned visits as my father-in-law got older and then, sadly, for his funeral. I confess that, prior to this week, I would have put money on Bonza doing so well that this schedule would be increased to daily. It’s a good thing I’m not a betting person.

There was a heck of a lot of Australia that wasn’t covered by Bonza – like anything west of a wonky diagonal line drawn between Darwin, Alice Springs and Mildura – but it was brilliant that Bonza offered stops at regional NSW cities like Port Macquarie and Newcastle, many places in the huge state of Queensland, and more direct options to get to and from places like Darwin and Alice Springs.

Thank you, Bonza, for including those of us who don’t live in a capital city. And at a good price.

However, even when Bonza’s purple planes – that had names like Shazza and Bazza – were in the sky, not all was well. Booking could only happen via an app that offered no information about cost until you selected one specific flight and, even then, a confusing mix of “seat only” and “discounts on baggage” prices. Apparently, you used to be able to contact Bonza but not recently; my husband ended up just letting a seat go empty as, despite significant effort, he could not find any way to change his flight after his father died.

There was a hilarious theme-park element to flying Bonza.

First up, there was heaps of hokey Australiana. Though initially fun, the endless ocker determination to call staff “Legends” rather than “cabin crew” quickly wore thin. I can also tell you that the “G’day” at the start of each half-hourly email during a multi-hour delay failed to convey its intended cheer.

More successful was the landing announcement that anyone travelling for work-related reasons should “try not to work too hard”.

Overall, I loved Bonza far more than a previous budget airline, Tiger, who used to deposit Melbourne-arriving passengers into a literal cage, with no staff around and a 1970s swimming pool-style exit gate that was scarily difficult to manage with young kids and luggage.

Today, I’m relieved that we didn’t have any tickets booked and sad for everyone who has lost money and had a holiday or other important plans totally stuffed by Bonza’s demise and apparent inability to issue refunds.

Those in the know are saying it’s unlikely another regionally-focussed budget airline will come along any time soon. That’s a great shame, as Australia’s smaller towns and regions are bonza places to work, live and play.

• Vivienne Pearson is a freelance writer. Her writing lives at viviennepearson.com

 

Leave a Comment

Required fields are marked *

*

*